2 + A Meaningful Life Anything Is Possible \ X 7 HEN YOU ARE DREAMING of what is possible for your life, you should know that anything is possible. You may not always feel it or see it, but you never for a single moment lack the capacity to change course. Your life is subject to infinite revision. In fact, change is the most enduring feature of your existence. The person you are today is not the person you will be in ten years, five years, or even onc year. Circumstances around you are continually shifting, and you are constantly responding to those changes in ways that shape you. Not only do you have this infinite freedom to shape yourself all the time, but what you do also helps shape the world around you. The question is: How do you relate to this infinite ground of possibility that your life is built on? How can you create a mean- ingful life within whatever shifting circumstances you find your- self? Buddhist thought devotes a great deal of attention to these questions. The view that life holds infinite possibility is explored using the concepts of “interdependence” and “emptiness.” When you first hear the term “emptiness,” you might think this sug- gests nothingness or a void, but actually “emptiness” here should remind us that nothing exists in a vacuum. Everything is embed- ded within a context—a complex set of circumstances. Those con- texts themselves are endlessly shifting. When we say that things are “empty,” we mean they lack any independent existence outside of those changing contexts. Because everything and everyone is “empty” in this sense, they are capable of endless adaptation. We ourselves have the basic flexibility to adapt to anything, and to be- come anything. Because of this, we should not mistake emptiness for nothing- ness. On the contrary, emptiness is full of potency. Understood correctly, emptiness inspires optimism, rather than pessimism, be- cause it reminds us of the boundless range of possibilities of who we can become and how we can live. Interdependence and emptiness show us that there are no fixed starting points. We can start from nothing. Whatever we have, wherever we are—that is the place we can start from. Many people have the idea that they lack what they need in order to start working toward their dreams. They feel they do not have enough power, or they do not have enough money. But they should know that any point is the right starting point. This is the perspective that emptiness opens up. We can start from zero. In fact, emptiness can be compared to the concept and func- tion of zero. Zero may seem like nothing, but as we all know, ev- erything starts from it. Without zero, our computers would col- lapse. Without zero, we could not start counting from one up to infinity. In the same way, from emptiness, anything and everything can manifest itself. Anything can come into being because there is no fixed way for things to be. It all depends on the conditions that come to- gether. But this fact that anything is possible does not imply that life is random or haphazard. We can make anything happen, but we can only do so by bringing together the necessary conditions. This is where the concepts of “emptiness” and “interdependence” come together. Every person, place, and thing is entirely dependent on oth- ers—other people and other things—as a necessary condition for its existence. For example, we are alive right now because we are A Meaningful Life + 5 enjoying the tight conditions for our survival. We are alive because of the countless meals we have eaten during our life. Because the sun shines on the earth and the clouds bring rain, crops can grow. Someone tends to the crops and harvests them, someone else brings them to market, and yet another person makes a meal from them that we can eat. Each time this process is repeated, the inter- dependence of our lives links us with more and more people, and with more and more rays of sun and drops of rain. Ultimately, there is nothing and no one with whom we are not connected. The Buddha coined the term “interdependence” to describe this state of profound connectedness. Interdependence is the nature of reality. It is the nature of human life, of all things and of all situations, We are all linked, and we all serve as conditions affecting each other. Amid all the conditions that affect us, in fact, the choices we ourselves make and the steps we take are among the most impor- tant conditions that affect what arises from our actions. If we act constructively, what comes into being is constructive. If we act de- structively, what results is destructive and harmful. Everything is possible, but also everything we do matters, because the effects of our actions reach far beyond ourselves. For that reason, living in a world of interdependence has very specific implications for us. It means our actions affect others. It makes us all responsible for one another. Living this Reality I realize this presentation might initially seem abstract, but emp- tiness and interdependence are not abstract principles. They are very practical, and have direct relevance when you are thinking about how to create a meaningful life. You can see interdependence at work by looking at how your own life is sustained. Is it only through your own exertions? Do you manufacture all your own resources? Or do they come from 6 « THE HEART IS NOBLE others? When you contemplate these questions, you will see very quickly that you are able to exist only because of others. The clothes you wear and the food you eat all come from somewhere else. Consider the books you read, the cars you ride in, the movies you watch, and the tools you use. Not one of us single-handedly makes any of these things for ourselves. We all rely on outside con- ditions, including the air we breathe. Our continued presence here in the world is an opportunity made possible entirely by others. Interdependence means we are continually interacting with the world around us. This interaction works both ways—it is a mu- tual exchange. We arc receiving, but also giving. Just as our pres- ence on this planet is made possible by many factors, our presence here affects others in turn—other individuals, other communities, and the planet itself. Over the past century, we humans have developed very danger- ous capabilities. We have created machines endowed with tremen- dous power. With the technology available now, we could cut down all the trees on the planet. But if we did so, we could not expect life to go onas before, except without trees. Because of our fundamental interdependence, we would all experience the consequences of such actions very quickly. Without any trees, there would not be enough oxygen in our atmosphere to sustain human life. You may wonder what this has to do with the choices we make and how we live our life. That is simple: We all need to take inter- dependence into account because it influences our life directly and profoundly. In order to have a happy life, we must take an active interest in the sources of our happiness. Our environment and the people we shate it with are the main sources of our sustenance and well-being. In order to ensure our own happiness, we have to respect and care about the happiness of others. We can sce this in something as simple as the way We treat the people who prepare our food. When we treat them well and look after their needs, only then can we reasonably expect them to take pains to preparc something healthy and tasty for us to eat. A Meaningful Life « 7 When we have respect for others and take an interest in their flourishing, we ourselves flourish. This can be seen in business as well, When customers have more money to spend, businesses do better, If-we wish to Aourish individually and together as a society, it is not enough for us to simply acknowledge the obvious inter- dependence of the world we live in. We must consider its implica- tions, and reflect on the conditions for our own welfare. Where do our oxygen and food and material goods come from, and how are they produced? Are these sources sustainable? Relating to Reality Looking at your experience from the perspectives of emptiness and interdependence might entail a significant shift in how you understand your life. My hope is that this shift can benefit you in practical terms. Gaining anew understanding of the forces at work in your life can be a first step toward relating positively to them. My purpose in raising these issues is certainly not to terrify you by confronting you with harsh reality. For example, I have no- ticed that some people are uncomfortable when they are told that change is a fundamental part of life, or that nothing lasts Fess Yet impermanence is just a basic fact of our existence—it is neither good nor bad in itself. There is certainly nothing to gain by deny- ing it. In fact, when we face impermanence wiscly, we Lave an op- portunity to cultivate a more constructive way of relating to that reality. If we do so, we can actually learn to feel at ease in the face of u nexpected change, and work comfortably with whatever new situations might occur. We can become more skillful in how we relate to the reality of change. "The same is true of interdependence. Seeing life from this per- spective can help us develop skills to relate more constructively to veality-but just knowing that we are interdependent does not guarantee that we will feel good about being so. Some people may initially find it uncomfortable to reflect that they depend on oth- i+ THE HEART IS NOBLE ers, They might think this means they are helpless or trapped, as if they were boxed in by those dependencies. Yet when we think about being interdependent, we do not need to feel it is like being stuck in a job working for a boss that we did not choose but have to deal with, like it or not. That is not helpful. We should not feel reluctant or pressured by the reality of our interdependence. Such an attitude prevents us from having a sense of contentment and well-being within our own life. It docs not give us a basis for posi- tive relationships. Interdependence is our reality, whether we accept it or not. In order to live productively within such a reality, it is better to ac- knowledge and work with interdependence, wholeheartedly and without resistance. This is where love and compassion come in. It is love that leads us to embrace our connectedness to others, and to participate willingly in the relations created by our interdepen- dence. Love can melt away our defenses and our painful sense of separation. ‘The warmth of friendship and love makes it easy for us to accept that our happiness is intimatcly linked to that of others. ‘The more widely we are able to love others, the happier and more content we can feel within the relations of interdependence that are a natural part of our life. All People Are Like Parents to Us Love is possible in all our relationships because all people want happiness. No one wants to suffer. This is true of the people we love. It is also true of those we dislike. We are all absolutely iden- tical in this respect. I think this universal wish for happiness is something we can easily grasp intellectually. When we learn to also feel and respect this in our heart, love naturally flourishes within us. Among all the people we are connected to, most of us feel a particular affection and love for our parents. Why? A sense of closeness and love usually arises more easily toward our parents A Meaningful Life + 9 because they have cared for us, helped us grow, and contributed to our well-being. As I see it, all people are very much like parents to us. If we look carefully, we can see that everyone we mect has contributed to our well-being in a variety of ways, directly or indirectly. Many differ- ent people have cooked our meals, and built the shelter and sewn the clothes that protect us from the elements. They have driven us where we wanted to go, and invented medicine that healed us when we were sick. They have educated us, helped us stand on our own feet, challenged us to grow, and much, much more. Countless people have been functioning just like parents to us from the mo- ment we were born until now. But we do not usually recognize oth- ers as parents, partly because we have not had our attention drawn to their parent-like qualities. No one steps forward and introduces themselves, saying, “Hi, I’m actually like a mother to you.” Nor do we shake their hand, saying, “Hello, you are like a father to me.” But if we really consider all that we receive from others, we can identify endless ways in which many people arc like parents to us. When we do, we will approach them with more tenderness. We will be able to connect to chem with the same kind of love that exists between a mother and child. We will be able to embrace our interdependence, and happily and joyfully take others’ need for happiness to heart. Because everyone wants love, we have the power to improve others’ lives by giving them what they want and. need—beginning by just feeling love toward them. Taking a Limitless View I believe that this wider perspective is essential in thinking about making our life meaningful. What gives life real meaning? ‘That is a vast question. In order to answer it, we need to think in a vast way. We need to see far beyond our own limited life. If we are consider- ing nothing more than our own personal territory and personal concerns, that view is much too myopic. 10 * TH HEART IS NOBLE As an example, in my own life I have had a great number of unfulfilled wishes and can find many reasons to feel dissatisfied. Unlike other people my age, some of the most important choices in my life were made for me by others. This began from the time I was recognized as the Karmapa at the age of seven. On top of having many great responsibilities placed on me as the Karmapa, Thave also encountered great challenges and obstacles in fulfilling those duties. Of course, it can be frustrating not to be able to do everything I want to do and am required to do. But this does not make my life meaningless or hopeless. It is up to me to decide how to meet these challenges and obstacles. ‘The idea that life is meaningless if one’s wishes are not fulfilled is the result of narrow thinking, It is a sign of thinking only of one- self, and a very narrow sense of oneself at that. Even when life seems meaningless because our particular wishes are not fulfilled, we still have limitless possibilities. We can see that this is so because our life reaches far beyond where we find ourselves at any given moment. Our life is vast. It does not stop at the limits of what we per- sonally experience. It is not something concrete or bounded. I do not think it is valid to view our life as limited to just ourselves—as if our human life extended only as far as our own body. Rather, we can see that a life extends out in all directions, like a net. We throw a net, and it expands outward. Just like that, our life extends to touch many other lives. Our life can reach out and become a pervasive part of everyone’s life. I believe that our life can only seem meaningless when we think of it in a limited way, as just what is linked to us directly. Personally, if I were to look at my own life in that way, it could all scem pretty pointless. Bearing this big name, escaping from Tibet, all the efforts made since then—it would hardly be worth so much fuss for just one person—me! But when I see my life as something expansive, and see that I might be able to bring some happiness and joy to even just one other person, then I know that my life has real meaning. A Meaningful Life + You offer joy and happiness to another person, and it reflects back into your own life. The meaningfulness of your life does not come from you as a separate individual. It does come from you, but only through your connectedness to others. In this way, your interrelatedness can give great meaning to your life. The trick is to strike the right balance between what you want for yourself and what you want for others. To achieve that balance, from the outset what you want for yourself must be well-chought- out. By this I mean that if what you want for yourself is strongly self-centered, you will find no real balance. This is because you are just one part of your life. Since that is so, you must necessarily take others into consideration. Your own interests and your own life will only be balanced when they include both the well-being of yourself and others. Any wholesome undertaking necessarily in- cludesa desire to benefit others. Ifan undertaking is egocentric and full of sclfcherishing, then that balance will be extremely difficult to find and maintain. You need to care for yourself, of course, but not to the total disregard of others. Your accomplishments cannot come at the expense of others. Three Kinds of Aims If we think about what generally guides our pursuits, we can see that some aims are entirely self-interested. Other goals combine our own interests with the interests of others, and still others are pursued entirely for the benefit of others. There is a big difference in our experiences, based on which sort of aim we are pursuing— self-interested, altruistic, or a combination of the two. When we care only about our own interests, we end up ne- glecting other people and even showing contempt for them. That basic attitude is: “If they’re happy, fine. If they suffer, fine—as long as I get my needs met.” This is not only unfortunate; it is entire- ly out of step with reality. This approach will not work. Because iz « THE HEART IS NOBLE all beings are interdependent, the pursuit of even the most self- centered aims inevitably involves and impacts others. Common sense should tell us that total self-interest is self-defeating. The second kind of aim—when our own interests are joined with the interests of others—recognizes our interdependence. Here, the attitude is: “I want to meet my goals, and of course, at the same time others should be able to meet theirs, too. Just as I’m pursuing my aims, I hope their personal aims can be met, too.” If we want to take care of ourselves, then we have to respect that same wish in others, too. The third sort of aim involves seeking only others’ interests. This altruism can be much harder to feel, much Jess put into prac- tice. When we cherish only others’ wishes and goals, we willingly sacrifice our own aims if we sce that doing so benefits others. We should not take this to mean that we literally give up our life, or that we never have any of our own needs met. Rather, it is a mental outlook in which we are willing to forgo our own needs. It is a noble approach in which we orient our life entirely to the service of others. This might be hard for us to translate into immediate action, but it is an attitude we can aspire to. Cherishing Self and Others I'll share two stories as examples of pursuing one’s own versus others’ aims. The first is of a two-headed eagle; let’s call it an American bald eagle. This eagle had two heads. We know from biology that each head naturally has its own brain, but this two- headed, two-brained eagle had only one body. (Sorry, this is funny science, I know!) The two heads had different ways of see- ing the world, and they didn’t much care for each other. In fact, they each really wanted the whole body to themselves. Each head started scheming ways to get rid of the other. One day, this two-headed bird landed near some poison. Each A Meaningful Life + 1 of the heads leapt at this opportunity to do away with the other. Each tried to entice the other to eat the poison, describing how delicious it was and courteously inviting the other to treat himself to it, Finally one of the heads—thc less persuasive one, I guess— gobbled up the poison. But of course, this act poisoned the whole body that they shared. They were each so focused on their own self-centered aims and their dislike of one another that they forgot that they shared the same body. This is what happens when we are self-absorbed. In the end, we only harm ourselves. To have a meaningful life, we must see our life as an integral part of a much larger wholc. Given the reality of our tightly interconnected existence in this world, it is absolutely reasonable to say that we are all sharing one life. We have many heads, but one body. The second story is of a house that caught on fire with a whole family inside. One member of the family panicked, and bolted for the nearest way out of the house. His first thought was his own self-preservation, and he managed to make it safely to the door. But just as his front foot made it past the threshold, he suddenly remembered his family. He kept his back foot inside the door, with the feeling that he wanted the same life and safety for his family that he was rushing to secure for himself. After stopping for that split second with his balance evenly distributed between the two feet, he immediately turned to go back in order to save the others. We need to act in a similar way. That leading foot points to where we want to go ourselves, while the other foot reminds us that others want that same thing for themselves, too. We need to create the possibility of having both these feet on the ground. Our self-interest can tell us what we want for ourselves, but our aware- ness of others reminds us that they want it, too. We should not sacrifice ourselves entirely, or run ourselves down for others to the point of self-deprivation. Nor should we disregard others for the sake of our own well-being. This is the right balance. 14 + THE HEART IS NOBLE Meaningful Livelihood Once you have a clear sense of the balance that makes life mean- ingful, then you will be in a good position to think about choosing a particular livelihood, and integrating your work into the rest of your life. The particular profession or job you do is not the most im- portant factor. My job is to be Karmapa, and that is a pretty tough job—tough to do, and even tough to describe. In the space for oc- cupation in a passport, what should I write? Reciter of prayers? That’s too narrow. Tree planter? That sounds strange. Cook? I don’t know how to cook, so that is out. I guess Lam many things and nothing, but the main point is not what you do, but how you do it. Whatever work you do, you have to give yourself opportu- nities to just be. Even if it is only once a day, you should find a moment to just be yourself in the course of each day. This could be through a short period of meditation or quiet reflection in the morning or in the evening, or in whatever way best suits you. The point is to reconnect with yourself. Otherwise, the whole day you are running around and busy, and it is easy to lose yourself. To guard against this, you should make efforts to return to yourself and recollect what is essential for you. Letting your job drive you can become dehumanizing. I have some acquaintances who work in factories, and they have to cali- brate themselves to the machines. In their daily lives, they become like robots themselves. In other jobs too, people adjust the rhythm of their lives to the rhythm of their jobs. This is deeply distressing. Ic is an extreme example of the dangers of making ourselves part of an economic system that treats people like machines. Such examples might make it seem attractive to drop out of the system and seck some alternatives. Yet for those of us who feel adcep commitment to changing a particular system, or contributing A Meaningful Life + 15 to shaping our world for the better, there are some other factors to consider. While there may be exceptions, when we choose to move outside of a system, this often amounts to little more than running away—even when we leave with the idea that we will oppose the system from outside. It easily becomes like discarding something we do not like, instead of trying to repair or modify it. We sce ex- amples of people who leave one system and then the next, creating a pattern of escape. This is not an effective way to reform the sys- tem. In order to bring change, though it may be difficult, working within the system can have a far greater effect. Where Real Worth Lies Whether you work within a system or outside it, I would like to emphasize that it is a mistake to link your identity to the work you do. No job can ever define you as a person. You are so much more than your job. No matter how many hours a day you spend work- ing, it is not the only or even the most important part of your life. At most, it can be one component within the vast net of all that comprises your human life. This is particularly important to keep in mind in this difficult economic climate. When people lose their jobs nowadays, they might not find a new one quickly. Some unemployed people suffer terribly duc to the emotional costs of being jobless, even more than they suffer from lack of income. If your job is filling an emotional hole, that hole will remain painfully open while you are jobless. You can counteract such feelings by refreshing your understanding of where happiness truly comes from. With all of our intelligence, we often fall back into a mistaken habit of seeking happiness in ex- ternal things and circumstances. You can refresh your wise aware- ness and, at any moment, you can turn your attention from outer conditions to the inexhaustible source of goodness you have inside yoursclf. That can never be lost, no matter what the situation. We let ourselves be delighted by gaining new material pos- 16 « THE HEART IS NOBLE sessions. Why shouldn't we let ourselves be much more delighted with our own inner goodness? It is worth so much more. Our pet- sonal qualities can make us happy. We just have to turn our atten- tion to them. Giving rise to a single moment of cherishing others can bring us much deeper satisfaction than making money. Our own posi- tive qualities can be rich sources of joy for us. Even if we have just one altruistic thought, this is a cause to be deeply happy. We have ample resources for happiness in the bounty of our own mind, A Meaningful Life + 17